I feel like

No one is blogging haha. I had an incredible weekend. It was almost surreal, I feel like I barely did anything yet I am so happy and thrilled by the events that occurred. Today just seemed to feed off my weekend, even though the random stupid problems in my life haven't gone away or been resolved I have lost all care for them and the people who they are associated with. Let the mean girls of highschool continue to attempt to belittle me and other people in ridiculous ways, those of us who are strong and confident will always fly above it. However, I do understand a few personal issues I have that I could fix and will do my best to do so. I am dying for spring break adventures. DYING. I need to be swept away from everyone and everything and just live. I really hope that I can connect to the girls a little more.

Lastly, I'd like to mention my disgust for people particularly girls who hate other people with no reason or explanation. Why must you judge so many great people because their not what you think you want in a friend. People will always surprise you so grow up.

MAJOR love and rockets,
Torrie

wow

I am so in love with you. There is no other way for me to explain it or respond to how i'm feeling. There is no other way to describe this feeling at all. HE gives me the drive to make it through my problems and is the only person who has been there for me since before my mistake. Even when everyone else turned their backs and hearts on me he was the only one who refused to give up on me. And look at me now. It doesn't matter what happens when we fight because we get through it. Just like Megan told me, "Just remember that he makes you happy, and happiness is hard to find, and its the reason the two of you are together. It's so important to stick to that, it will get you through just about anything." SO TRUE. Not one of my bestfriends has ever come close to treating me with as much respect and care as he has and it is sooooo unfair that he doesn't get everything he deserves. Im not going anywhere.


1st John 4:18- There is no fear in love.
Torrie

charmingly befuddled.

This week was exhausting, incredible, dramatic, relaxing, sad, and I dont even know just a HUGEEE realization of how easy I have it and how lucky I am. Friday, I went home and relaxed then went to Austin's to help him with his Bible Lit. paper. Aside from the ultimate lameness of that, we had a big talk about us, the hard times were both going through, and our hopes for the future.
Saturday was quite the soap opera to say the least. I woke up at 6:30 and went to Austin's tournament alllllllllllllll day basically. Well until 4:30 which is forever and a day for volleyball tournaments. Immediately following that was drama with his coach being the biggest tool in the history of the earth and the pleasure he gets from fucking with Austin's head (I will explain tommarow in further detail if requested). Then, the real tragedy began. Austin's dad went to the Swallows day parade, and ofcourse as a resident got completely wasted and soon was verbally and emotionally abused by Austin's mom. Which sucks because he does not deserve anything close to that. This led to a long deep conversation between Jason(dad) and Austin. It RUINED me to see them like that. I hate seeing Austin cry, I feel so horrible and all I want to do is fix everything in his world to make him happy. He talked to me about how hard it is for him to get by financially right now and also how much he hates the fact he cant ever remember things. Ofcourse, these are both things I cant help with AT ALL. Fucking sucks.
NOW on to the fun part: After the long, highly anticipated wait, Austin, AJ, Mehdi, Zach, Jessica, Becky, and I all went over and stayed the night at Chaz's. Time of my life? I think so!?! We watched ratatouille, particpated in the appreciation of the vegetation the earth has so rightfully planted for us ;), got a tour of Chaz's neighborhood, rollercoastered, listened to selena gomez, I cant even explain. The best part, waking up to Austin in the morning. <3 Today was for relaxation sooo I slept and ate and watched New moon.

Love and Rockets,
Victoria Elizabeth Kendall. (:


"You only live once. But when you live like us, once is enough."

I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE.

I have asked a thousand ways, that you would take my pain away

Wow, this was one emotional rollercaoster of a weekend. Friday, oh Friday. School was actually pleasant, then my long lost friend Brad picked me up and he, I, and our friend Marawan all went to Austin's tournament in Irvine. Then I proceeded to see long lost friend number 2 (gavin) who ended up being a womanizing asshole who loves to have sex with as Chelsea so amazingly put it "faceless girls" which almost brought me to tears considering I basically brought him back out of the ruins after he broke my heart then his following girlfriend broke his. Drama. Sorry. Moving on. After I went to Austin's house and we had one of those relationship changing nights you read about in fairytales. Yay non-womanizin assholes. !!

Saturday I had a game and we won 6-2, which in soccer language means we kicked some ass. Following that Chels and Megan came over and we all went to Bre's house which I thought was incredibly fun. I bonded with some of the guys, had a heart to heart with people I thought I never would, realized how much I need my man at parties with me, and just had some good old California teenage wasteland fun. It was overall a happy ending. Today though, started with some super sad drama that would have easily been avoided if people would start thinking for themselves. That however, turned into fishing with Austin, sushi, and an all day movie session at his house. I love surprises.

Pretty successful weekend I'd say. Thank you everyone who participated in it.
Love and rockets,
Victoria Elizabeth Kendall.

acn<3

Bad looks, and perfect combinations.

Not much happened today or has been happening with me lately. Yes, there were the momentary pieces of unwanted drama but im not going to waste my time for someone to get up the courage to come make ammends. Everyonee else, however, seem to have unnatural amounts of problems and I LOVE helping people and giving advice to my friends who need it so, i'm not complaining. Austin's fantastic, were both really busy right now and not seeing much of eachother but ironically we are fighting way less and alot happier haha. Weird. UH lets talk about todayy...


Decorated and procrastinated in chemistry, probably going to have Tierra tutor me and miss Tatum. Third period was amazzzzing as always, tried to figure out how to give a bad look and how to make noises with gumm..I dont know, I had a blast.. Lunch was funny, and in English I practiced giving people bad looks. Soccer practice was great haha, Rubys with Bri, Lindsay, Jordan, and Josh (:


Nothin cynical or sad todayy <3,
love and rockets,
Torrie

MADAMEEEEEE

If I had my own world Everything would be nonsense. Everything would whats its not because everything would be what it isnt.
Today was one of those getting better then worse then better and better days. Started off good with Austin's weekly starbucks run to school since he has late start. Third period always makes my day, I love Austin Seidel's white ass, Billy's random bursts, Merediths silence, Casey's hair, and Tierra in every way. haha. Then there was lunch, OH lunch. Family trees, making fun of everything, I dont even know. Got home, fought with Austin, he came over, all better. Then dad offered to bring me taco bell, Tierra is continuously making me actually laugh out loud, the office is on, im going to Bamboozle. Im just a happy camper today.
ahhhhhh cant wait for my highly anticipated floatie beach adventure<33

major love and rockets,
madame torrie.
contributors to this fantastic mood:
wifey/twinnnnie
mistresss<33
max the mooose
alcohol allie
austin cody
adrian bogle
mychal tamaki
and... bama hahaha

Grrrrrr

I miss summer. SO much. Spring break is a horrible little teaser that draws you into the relaxation and freespirit then spits you back into 11 more weeks of highschool hell. This weekend was a summer weekend. No worries, great parties, recoveringg time, late night del taco runs, apart from the rain it was definitly incredible. Drama levels are all down in my life and im trying to help my friends with decreasing their own.. Friday was Alice in wonderland night, that movie was so epic if you see it, upgrade to 3D! It is seriously so worth it. After, Austin finally opened up about how much he has on his plate right now and filled me on things I had no idea were hurting him. I feel alot closer to him now and feel like now I can really help and support him through everything.Yesterday, I lost my soccer game in Rancho but had such a blast, it is basically an all out brawl/bitch fest between my team and those coto spoiled brats. After was Austin's grandmas party, Chelsea's party, andd Hope's party. Each was as fun as the next. Woke up this morning with the pain that comes only  from being sinful. However, starbucks and bagelshack always do the trick to take care of that. Now, im slowly recovering from my weekend and cant wait for the Academy awards tonight. (:

Anyway, I'm reallly starting to open up and feel comfortable with people I didn't think i would ever connect with..All this continuously reflects all the stuff I could see happening over summer. Time to just keep down the path im on and remain true to myself. (:

loveee and rockets,
Torrie

phrase of the week: bitches aint shit.

Friday night in Eflat

How is it that Im nice to you from day one, and yet you somehow are set on ruining my friendships. The first rumor, yes I was upset, but quickly I got over it UNTIL walaaaa rumor number two comes into effect and this one, Ill admit I did not take lightly at all. AND NOW, after the drama has died and all wounds have been patched up and I now have even made ammends with you and began the trustworthy testing process. Rumor number three! And each as ridiculous as the next...BITCH, we are in highschool! EVERYTHING you say will get back to me. Stop talking shit and ill stop being such a bitch to you. Now, the rumors themselves I barely have a problem with. I have two specific problems with this unnecessary soap opera that has been forced upon me.

1. I did NOTHING to you. I was your friend, invited you everywhere with us and it was your fault you never came. But now, for some unapparent reason you have the neverending desire to trash my life and fuck up all the new friendships I have? Really, you want to pick on me because my friendships here are fragile and young? That is messed up. You have your place and your friends and everything you could want so why hurt me for no reason.. And the way your doing it and things your saying are shallow and unbelieveable. I just dont understand.

2. The big point. I have been working my ass off since what...? May ? To be trusted and cared about and liked by you guys and yet, your friend comes in and says random shit and suddenly its evening news?! I care so much and give you everything to be accepted and yet you blow me off cause I dont just follow your little orders on demand. God, what the hell does it take to find some friends that are actually LOYAL and willing to STAND UP for their bestfriends. Everytime I hear some shit being talked, unless I fully agree with the discussion, I make sure to defend my friends or people I know. Its what you do as a good person and "bestfriends" who dont have the love and respect to protect their friends need to take a long look at themselves because you are nothing CLOSE to a real friend and soon, youll realize it the hard way. All I want is for someone to just stop and realize how much their fear of helping us who are being talked shit on is affecting and hurting us. Its not fair putting in all the effort and trust and care into a friendship where the other person/and or people just dont give a fuck. IT SUCKS. and personally, ive had enough of it.

love and rockets,
Torrie.

btw. TIERRA TERREL IS NOT A WHORE.

Hate the sin, love the sinner.

So I basically just wrote out this big long blog commending Tierra on her boldness in her blog today and then relating certain girl related issues to myself which after re-reading i realized just looked like a big pity party about how I have no real bestfriend at school. And im not one to sit here and just feel bad for myself... Yes, its sooooo hard for me to really connect with girls at our school even though im dying to finally have REAL friends I can trust and hangout with and I dont know whatever girlfriends do now-a-days. Im just going to continue putting myself out there for better and worse and show my loyalty and trustworthiness to the people I feel deserve it. So many people really take friendship for granted these days and dont realize how much time we DONT have left. And if I have to spend the next year trying to prove to everyone im not just some SC sarcastic bitch with a low tolerance, I will. I cant waste anymore chances at friendship and cant waste anymore time.

Love and rockets,
Torrie.

ps. just dont give up on me, youll be pleasently surprised<3

Highschool

Ruins me. Everything is so back and forth and up and down and drama it exhausts me. Especially relationship drama. Who's getting together whos breaking up whos hooking up. All those things blow over but for someone reason I get shit for being in a healthy relationship?! Yes, I fucking understand my boyfriend dated quite a few people his freshman and sophomore year but guess what ?! SO DID I. Dating alot does not make you a bad person or a whore. So why cant people get over that and realize we have been together for almost a year and hes CHANGED and saved me from the person I could have become if he wasn't there. Hes not an asshole or a manwhore hes one of the most generous and caring people ive ever met and if your jealous im sorry but you need to stop trying to tell me that Oh he used to be like and he used to do and people used to see him like... it doesnt matter to me because I love him for who he is now. He has accepted my past as much as I have accepted his. Also, since when is being whipped a bad thing? If I feel bad after a fight I started and feel the need to take my boyfriend bagelshack is that a bad thing? or if he wants to bring me coffee cause he knows my parents were fighting does that really make him totally "whipped" by me? Enough. I cant take it anymore.

One more thing. How is it that suddenly my bestfriends think its okay to go around and spread shit thats personal between me and my boyfriend? Yes, you saw or yes, you were there. And because of this you have the divine right to go and tell your friends because your my "bestfriend"? no. thats not what bestfriends do, thats what fake friends do. I trusted you with my secrets and my life and if your gonna go and exaggerate or make a bigger deal of something than it is, your gonna lose your bestfriend really quickly.


Torrie