Right now all I see are the problems in other peoples lives and all the drama that is going to occur as soon as school starts. So i've been thinking about how some people wish to have me act and speak and respond to other's actions. A self-contained, controlled, polite, accepting, simple, quiet, someone who knows when and when not to talk, godly, cyborg like so many other teenagers at San Juan Hills But you fucking know what? I am DIFFERENT. Im outspoken and exceedingly loyal and love certain people with such a passion it hurts others to observe. I know im not the prettiest and that I'm not the smartest or the most cordial. However, I am me. And i am not going to sit here any longer and let you tell me what I should and shouldnt do. Im tired of feeling left out and NEVER knowing whether or not my friends are real or fake. This bullshit backstabbing crap is too much for me now. Somehow i have found this unexplainable inner anger I feel like ive been holding in forever. I want you to know that I really dont care that you may not like me. Im not changing and everyone should know that by now. So if you cant decide what you want from me, dont waste my freaking time. I probably dont need you anyway. I have people who are able to show me that they care, that want to spend their life with me. Im a big girl. You dont need to lie to me to protect me. I am who I am, and im sorry but, change will come at a time when I see necessary.
sorry for the random outburst.
love and rockets,
torrie kendall
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