dear eminem,

I would to thank you and Rihanna for getting me through tonight.
thats all.

honestly

I just wanna hit you in the face with a crowbar.
volleyball tomorrow <3

welllll

Right now all I see are the problems in other peoples lives and all the drama that is going to occur as soon as school starts. So i've been thinking about how some people wish to have me act and speak and respond to other's actions. A self-contained, controlled, polite, accepting, simple, quiet, someone who knows when and when not to talk, godly, cyborg like so many other teenagers at San Juan Hills But you fucking know what? I am DIFFERENT. Im outspoken and exceedingly loyal and love certain people with such a passion it hurts others to observe. I know im not the prettiest and that I'm not the smartest or the most cordial. However, I am me. And i am not going to sit here any longer and let you tell me what I should and shouldnt do. Im tired of feeling left out and NEVER knowing whether or not my friends are real or fake. This bullshit backstabbing crap is too much for me now. Somehow i have found this unexplainable inner anger I feel like ive been holding in forever. I want you to know that I really dont care that you may not like me. Im not changing and everyone should know that by now. So if you cant decide what you want from me, dont waste my freaking time. I probably dont need you anyway. I have people who are able to show me that they care, that want to spend their life with me. Im a big girl. You dont need to lie to me to protect me. I am who I am, and im sorry but, change will come at a time when I see necessary.
sorry for the random outburst.

love and rockets,
torrie kendall

I just want

everything to be better with us. But I know i'm the last person you want to talk to. Which puts a damper on things.
Sooo that fucking sucks.

love and rockets,
torrrie kendall

and suddenly

Everything seems so much bettter. It's all coming together for me and now, I cant wait for senior year. No more enemies for reasons I dont know. New friends and old friends all showing me that i'm more than important to them. And because im now making ammends and getting closer everyone, it makes it harder to know who I can and can not trust. I feel like the only people I can fully count on are the guys in my life. I just wish that the girls would realize that talking shit is going to get them no where. I mean i know my moral compass doesnt point due north, but im not about to say something about someone i wouldnt be ready to say right to there face. Im not going to open myself to these people who dont really care how much they can hurt someone with dumbass rumors and words. Its so stupid. Other than that though, im reallllllly happy with everything thats happened this summer !! I've had so much fun with my girls and boys and the crazy times weve had. Megan has been there for almost every single one and I wouldnt change that for the world. Shes straight up with me and lets me be who I am. <3 ummm FOOTBALL SEASON. i cant waiiiittt ...! I dont know this blog has no cohesiveness and im just babbling so imma end it (:

you dont have to love me. you dont even have to like me. but you will respect me.

love and rockets,
torrriiieee

favorites:
my nugget. (brendon)
christian stubbbba
my wife ceris.
anorttties.
megatronnn
<3

Home at last

And though i will definitely say my time there was a waste, I'll admit I am much more greatful for everyone I have in my life. My girls are my everything and Austin, well.. I never want to go two weeks without him again. I realized that out of sight doesn't mean out of mind and my true friends have shown me that by little reminders i'm not forgotten. However, now that I have returned. Lets make up for lost time shall we? (:
I'm so ready to go out and see the people I missed the most and reinstill that real bestfriend feeling that i've been longing for while I was away. I know everyones lives went on without me but im just hoping I didn't miss anything so critical I wont be as welcomed back as others will. Especially now that it is out final year, our last everything, I need to make real memories. Ones I can remember as the best times of my life. So here we go kids.. This is it, the last hoorah.


Love and Rockets,
the long lost torrie kendall