I wish I could express to you all the thoughts and things inside my head, but for some reason I cant seem to find the words when your in front of me. So, this is for you. Our relationship is so messy and complicated and I have no idea how to deal with it and yet, I love us and understand us so well. You love me so much and it scares the crap out of me because I know that you know me better than I or anyone knows myself. You have more power than you could ever imagine and that is all my fault. I let you save me and mold me into who I am now, and I truly believe if you hadn't come along I wouldn't have half the confidence and self-respect that I have now. Your my bodyguard and you keep me safe from the corruption of this world allowing me to stay the little kid I just want to be. The big problem with all this though is that you know how to ruin me. When we fight, it feels like everything is crashing down for me. You have so much power and break me so easily and I don't understand why you take advantage of that sometimes because whenever I see you hurting all I want to do is heal the world so you have nothing to be sad about. We get so caught up in what were fighting about and it's ridiculous cause I am just want to be excited and at home. Baby,we have so much going for us and I know were gonna make it, but we have to get past whatever this is. I need you in my life. Simple, done, that's it. I NEED YOU. My heart beats for you and the way you love me. Your home to me, nothing feels more right. I'll keep giving until I have nothing left and I promise to keeping loving and trusting you until you ask me not to anymore. I love you Austin and thats what it comes down to, that as much as we bicker and argue and whatever else were it. I Love You and that will get us through the bullshit because it's what sets us apart and what makes us real. I thrive on your laughter. I live for our kid moments and I wouldn't trade you in for the world bubs. Your stuck with me.
love and airplanes,
Torcakes (:
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