Relieved.

Sooo I think its a no brainer to say that it's obvious how much Austin is willing to do for me, especially when it comes to showing how "whipped" he is. But behind closed doors.. its not so sweet. Orginally we went about 3 months without having a fight. Then we went on to learning how easy it is to hurt and belittle eachother but when i stopped, he wouldn't. I usually instigated the fight i'll admit, but he knew all the right ways to break me apart..Now its been about idk 7 months since the discovery and things have gone from little battles every once in awhile, to hugeeee world wars now and again. And I mean ear shattering, wall punching, balling, mean fights. NOT. PRETTY.  
Lately though we've gone back to the little fights barely ever and i've never been happier. Were back to doing everything we can for eachother and encouraging eachother through the hard times, especially on my side. He's been through so much in the last 8 months and its incredible how strong he has been. I'm so proud and glad ive been able to help him through his family, school, future, sports, and financial problems...And even though were still working out all our kinks, I really believe were gonna make it. Lets just say this weekend definitly was a lifesaver for us <3 Thank you Lord !


extra love and rockets,
Torrie

Oh socal weather.

You never dissapoint. only here can we experience an unnatural downpour of rain followed by clear sky and sun. Yesterday was entertaining, multicultural fair, bomb on freeway, yeah pretty incredible. Later baby came over and Elena me and Austin began our nightly adventure and headed to oeeshi for pregame sushi. Then went to Josh's kickback which turned into a party.. ? That was definitly and experience.. especially for elena.. UM Corryns is tonight and im definitly excited(:
FINALLLLY getting back to normal well even better than normal with Austin.. took quite a while and numerous fights and hurtful things said but its all coming back together <3. THANK GOD.
see you tonight ...

love and rockets,
torrie

One more day

and I can barely stand it. This might be my most needed weekend of the year. I barely did anything too but for some reason I am so incredibly eager to get my extra hours and party hardy at Corryn's. One thing that happened this week was my registration to formspring. Although I swore i would hate it and it would be gone in less than 24 hours, ive grown to appreciate the chance to be incredibly honest to those who are curious or just rude. The one that affected me the most though, was the first one... youve come along way. That was it. I mean really? Come on at least an explanation would have clarified the reasoning behind it and then i wouldnt have had that phrase in my head for the past three days. I'll admit my past moral compass didnt exactly point due north and to hear my progress is noticable is fantastic, but i wish my past would stop being brought up. Ive noticed that when you regret something and want it go away, it constantly is thrown back in your face no matter how hard you attempt to get rid of the memory. But, I dont wanna get into this now...definitly gonna dive into some haagen daaz and Dodgeball.
ps. I promise ill get more personal and into this.

love and rockets,
torrie

day two

Free pancake day was ultimately a success.<3  However, geometry test.. not so much. Later went shopping with mother and obtained many new items to add to my already unnecessarilly overflowing closet. Also, i never realized how many birthdays are coming up.. jeeeez its ridiculous ha its hard to keep up with who to regift to (we all do it.), who to make big fashionable cards to, and who to actually spend the time and money on... aka, the few people you actually give a shit about. Chelsea, A.J., Mommy, and Nicole, expect newly bought gifts.. I'm mentally exhausted at the moment so maybe next time ill begin talking about more serious factors than my day or my personal theory on birthdays.

love and rockets,
torrie

New to this...

Not even gonna try and take credit for doing this on my own.. I've never been one to allow myself to show true colors or my past or my feelings or anything, but Tierra putting her emotions and feelings out there for everyone really inspired me so im going to give this a shot.. I definitley feel like over time I'll become a lot more comfortable expressing myself and talking more loosely but right now this is all a little akward and overwhelming even if there's noone reading it.. Just the possibility of being able to reveal myself (including my past) to people is crazy. Soooo maybe ill just begin with my day... After a vicious arguement with Austin last night he ended up bringing me starbucks. Smart guy, fight over. Morning continues with the discovery of Molly's tragic fall and another boring class in chem ,geometry, and history. English though, was great Zoe is now in that class which makes my favorite class already that much more incredible mainly because of the reason she was put into it. But I wish she realized how much potential and talent she has to become an amazing dancer and I know going into advanced is going to give her the confidence she needs to progress. Anyway, free pancake day is tommarow from 7am to 10pm and personally I am ecstatic. I cannot think of a better way to spend an hour that eating free pancakes with friends, but maybe that's just me..Thats all i have for now and I do feel pretty good..

love and rockets,
torrie