after a while

You learn to be numb to all things that hurt you. Unfortuneatly.. I am not numb yet. I still feel every burning word, every insult that wasn't meant to be one. Every whisper and lie and rumor and harsh phrase. I still cry because of the memory that was you. I wish everyday that you had the decency to tell me what i did so i could change for you, since you were so unwilling to change for me. However, love is a powerful thing. And i know that one day i will find the friends who actually love me the way i love them. who will defend me and care for me and accept me for who i am. Not pretend to be my friend than disappear without reason or conversation. That's the hardest part. That i didnt get closure. That you stole my happiness from me as so many others have without even a god damn explanation. And now all i see is what i wish i would have said or done and how many more times this will happen to me. But i have no way to stop it. Its inevitable. Tragic hero syndrome.